The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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