I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
