both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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