ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Randomize