before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
