In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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