I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Send help, water and tortillas.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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