I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
