you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
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