hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
