she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
