Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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