If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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