My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
