I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
