So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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