all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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