We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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