I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
