Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
