A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
