I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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