You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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