I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
