god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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