You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
