That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
