I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she told me i tasted like america
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
