We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
