his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
