It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
