All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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