Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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