haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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