ya dads aren't the best wingmen
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
