Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
