Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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