That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
