when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I stole a fireplace last night.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
