There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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