just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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