Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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