now i know why i became what i already was.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
