Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
