How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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