a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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