Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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