she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
