her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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