Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I think your dad took our porno
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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